I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
