Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
