Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
