Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
a search helicopter?!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
