I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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