this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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