I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Randomize
