I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
