ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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