The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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