Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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