Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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