Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
