Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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