My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
