Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
