Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
