Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
is it fun? or sober?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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