I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
