you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
