your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
