now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
