even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
