I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Terrible idea I love it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
