It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
