careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
