you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Panties = found
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
