I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
