the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
pray to the hookup gods
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
