She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
