tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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