i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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