What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
