the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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