I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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