Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
