Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
