It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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