Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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