The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
