Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
