biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
