he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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