he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
