Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
