Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The beer is more important than you right now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
