i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
