its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
