Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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