I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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