Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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