You made me cry and you don't even care
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
honey bunches of taint.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
