I am puke
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
