Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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